My Heart Pleads for More

I want to be popular.

I want you to read this blog post and be blown away. I want 1,000,000 followers on Twitter. I want to run into someone I admire and have them say to me how much they appreciate what I said the other day. I want you to read that and be impressed with how honest or self-aware I am.

When I’m honest, I know this is what I want.

It leads me to hold my tongue or hit ‘delete’ when I’m writing something someone might object to. I read people’s faces, not to see if they understand what I’ve just said, but to see if they approved. I say things I would rather not say so my voice doesn’t stand out in a crowd. Whatever the crowd.

When I want to feel good about myself I deny it, but it’s true.

My heart bursts, however, to be something more. I can feel it fighting the voice in my head that tells me lies day in and day out. My very being cries out,

“You know better than that! You know that Jesus is worth so much more than the popularity and approval granted by others! Everything you study, everything you teach, bursts through that garbage and tears at the mists of a fabricated reality that you walk around in everyday! The beauty of the gospel brings life to your heart, soul, and mind! The power of King Jesus is worth so. much. more! Don’t buy into the lie! Don’t eat the fruit! Live the life Christ died for you to live!”

The flesh in me wants to hold on to the popularity, but the Spirit that is groaning in me calls for me to live into the so–much–more. This is my daily struggle. To choose the latter and spit on the former. To live the new life, as a new creation and tell the dead me to stay dead. To look out into the world and declare in word and deed, “NO! This is not reality – Jesus is Lord and your despair and destruction, hate and division cannot overcome!”

I want to be popular, but my prayer today is that I will be faithful instead.

How does the desire to be popular, liked, cool or esteemed keep you from actually living the life that Jesus has for you?


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